Write Your Own Self-Care Manual

By Alice Holland

Aim

Get thinking about what ingredients you need in order to do your best work and present them professionally in a non-threatening format.

What self-care deal would you make with yourself? I encourage you to give as much respect to your wellbeing as you can. There are no prizes for suffering, stress and drama will always exist, but in offering yourself the chance to flourish you will help others do the same.

  1. Look at some existing contracts, riders, recipes or manuals and pick a format to use as a template
    What is the goal and what are the terms? My rider is sometimes titled ‘A Guide to the Machine that is Alice’, or ‘Working with Alice.’ Sometimes it is simply added to the body of a contract as terms.
  2. Think about your ideal working environment and conditions
    Working with others may require a different set of conditions to working from home, you may need more than one version. I recommend it be a living document that you revisit periodically.
  3. Start with your physical needs
    Sleep, hydration, nutrition, support for any medical conditions or disability. Close your eyes and think about yourself at your strongest, your happiest, your most focussed – where does that feeling live in your body? What fuel does that require? What does it feel like to be at your most confident? Does 9-5 fill you with dread? Then don’t agree to it, if intense bursts of activity with breaks to rest makes you shine then go for it.
  4. Communication is at the core of almost all workHow do you prefer to do this? If talking on the phone makes you anxious then perhaps prioritising face-to-face or email contact can help you. How are you speaking to yourself? Kindness can be so easy to offer to others whilst denying ourselves. As a rule I try to speak to myself as I would to someone I love dearly. If you wouldn’t say it to someone else, don’t say it to yourself!
  5. Where do you most like to work?
    I struggle to concentrate in open-plan offices but inviting people to have a 5-minute walking meeting helps me to focus and think more clearly. Do you need music or silence? We can’t always choose exactly where we work but it is possible to make adjustments to bring you closer to your ideal.
  6. If you travel, think about what you can bring with you to keep yourself centred
    For you it might be making sure you have a stash of your favourite tea in your suitcase, or a candle to help you relax. Be yourself, wherever you are.
  7. In case of crisis or emergency make sure you have phone numbers ready
    Whether for a friend, your doctor or a mental health service. You may like to share recommendations with your team as to how to approach you if they see you exhibiting certain behaviours e.g. ‘If I seem distressed please ask me if I want to take a break and/or phone my dad’ ‘If I leave the room suddenly please give me space’. This will give your colleagues a sense of your boundaries and allow them to be better equipped to support and respect your needs, providing practical routes to compassion.
  8. How flexible are these terms?
    Not every work situation will be your ideal, so it is good to think about what you can budge on, what you absolutely require and what is appropriate to your situation. It is your responsibility to yourself to know this and to communicate it to your collaborators.